Millions – I’ve probably had millions of thoughts this week, like most people, but this week has been especially hard and has prompted those “millions” of thoughts. Because my daughter attempted suicide earlier this week, it’s been a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts, feelings, etc. Not really knowing what to do with all those has been difficult to get through, it’s also been extremely tiring. Fatigued just isn’t a strong enough word to describe just how tired I am right now.
But this week hasn’t been about me and it shouldn’t be – it’s about my daughter and her “millions” of thoughts. Those thoughts are what prompted her to try taking her life, those so many millions of short, rapid thoughts going through her head all at once were just too much for her to try dealing with. She just felt everyone would be so much better off without her in this world – including her two young daughters. I hope, with time and therapy, she can come to find some peace with all those “millions” of thoughts she has had for so long. I hope she will be able to replace those thoughts with millions of good ones. She deserves that much; so do her daughters. They should not live without their mother, they deserve to have her for as long as humanly possible. I hope she keeps them in mind in the future.
Let’s hope this next week, and all those after it, brings many more “millions” of GOOD thoughts to all.